Gerard Heidgerken

Long-time writer first-time author, Gerard spent most of the past two decades crafting words into one shape or another, mostly in the forms of advertising, blogging, journalism and some half-baked poetry. Largely known by the pseudonym and not-so-secret identity of Bilgemunky, he was a pervasive staple in the pirate community (yes, there is a pirate community), where he served as podcaster, personality and virtual connoisseur of all things rum.

Come 2020 and all its little surprises, Gerard faced the choice of being an under-employed copywriter or a full-time author. Both pay about the same, but one is much easier on the ego – hence his commitment to cranking out Godsquatter shortly after the pandemic holidays.

Need help with your ad campaigns? Got burning questions about potatoes and pirates? Want to discuss which version of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is best and why it’s the radio show? Hit him up at


Godsquatter (available NOW)

Straddling the line between sci-fi and satire, Gerard’s first full-length book, Godsquatter, explores a world that’s almost our own as it takes on trending memes, celebrity culture and starchy addiction while asking the really big questions: Why do we love the things we love? Why’s the world so messed up all the time? And what would YOU do for a French fry?

Available in paperback, ebook and Kindle Unlimited. Buy it on Amazon, then keep up with Godsquatter on Twitter to learn all sorts of fascinating truths about the secret history of potatoes.


Freelance Copywriting & Ideation

“I used to be a pirate god but now I work in advertising.”

Gerard came into advertising the long way around, meaning he was producing radio spots and designing billboards long before he had any right. But in creating ads for things like Bilgemunky Radio, he learned that he actually enjoyed the craft – and wasn’t half bad for having earned his marketing chops on the streets.

Portfolio school and a few years of agency work formalized his education before he relocated to Los Angeles, where he’s currently available for project-based and freelance work.

visit online portfolio

It started as a dream, then became a hub for news, reviews and commentary on all things piratical. From rum, book and game reviews to snarky insights on national pirate festivals and pop-culture swashblucklry, under the guise of Bilgemunky, Gerard became one of the internet’s most trusted sources of pirate wit and wisdom. And that’s before he even started podcasting.

Through Bilgemunky Radio, Gerard spent three hours each and (most) every week for five years sharing (legal) pirate music with as many as 30,000 listeners. Rock, shanty, jazz, rap and more all focused on rum, pillaging and high seas villainy. Still available on iTunes, some episodes include bonus examples of Gerard’s earliest scripts with radio ads, comedy bits and online experiential shenanigans.